Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Who died my cat blue again?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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