I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
