guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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