never play flip cup with pint glasses
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
