he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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