just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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