marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
