Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
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I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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