Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
