he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
