i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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