I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
