He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
