What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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