I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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