i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
