mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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