I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
