We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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