You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
