So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
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She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
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Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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