I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
