Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
