is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
