The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
