he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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