1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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