found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
