If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I can't turn off my feet"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
