so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube