So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
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She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
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High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome