Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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