Im at strip club and am horny
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
