Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
