Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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