In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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