it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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