carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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