I can tuck mytits in my pants
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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