The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Drake has all the answers
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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