I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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