I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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