Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
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U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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