i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
