I love watching others lives come down to our level.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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