lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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