Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you mean i was at the winter classic?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
