Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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