I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
