So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
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He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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