Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
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I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
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If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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