dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we made out on top of his cat.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
