I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
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my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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