My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
