I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
40s are totally the cure
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
