i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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