Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I am one with the molecules
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
