College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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