Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
