I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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