I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
40s are totally the cure
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
