I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
