well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
