I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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