chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
