anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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