Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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