did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
